Kulay ng Buhay

Minsan sa iyong buhay, iba-iba ang madarama
Damdamin mo’y nag-iiba, mula puti hanggang pula
Puso mo’y tila lalabas na kabog ng dibdib na di mapigilan
Parang tambol ang lakas na pati manhid ay nagugulat

Ang dating puti na tila ay wala, sa paglipas ng panahon
Sa mata’y nagiging pula, umuusbong na paghanga iyong nadarama
Sing tamis ng bukayo, pagsinta kung tawagin nila
Mula puti hanggang pula, pag-ibig nga ang nadama

Kung pakiramdam mo’y nag-iisa, paligid ay nawawalan ng kulay May mga bagay na sa iyo’y nakakapagpasaya, mundo’y inuulan ng dilaw
Kakaibang saya taglay nito na pati ang pangit ay gumaganda
Mga puno’t sanga ay napapasayaw

May mga pagkakataong na damdamin ay mabigat
Di mapigilan na ika’y mapalumbaba
Madilim ang nakikita sapagkat ilaw ay wala
Tanging bughaw at luntian na tila anino ang nakikita

Bughaw at luntian ay mabigat sa mata
Pakiramdam mo tuloy ay nababagabag
Napupuno ng hinagpis sa tuwing ito’y makikita
Sa panahon na ito ang iyong napapansin

Tulad ng araw ito’y may taglay na kinang
Kulay na sa iyong pangingin ay nakakabighani
Anumang dilim ng bughaw at luntian
Ginto ay tiyak na mas makikita

image

Kulay ng Buhay

Minsan sa iyong buhay, iba-iba ang madarama
Damdamin mo’y nag-iiba, mula puti hanggang pula
Puso mo’y tila lalabas na kabog ng dibdib na di mapigilan
Parang tambol ang lakas na pati manhid ay nagugulat

Ang dating puti na tila ay wala, sa paglipas ng panahon
Sa mata’y nagiging pula, umuusbong na paghanga iyong nadarama
Sing tamis ng bukayo, pagsinta kung tawagin nila
Mula puti hanggang pula, pag-ibig nga ang nadama

Kung pakiramdam mo’y nag-iisa, paligid ay nawawalan ng kulay May mga bagay na sa iyo’y nakakapagpasaya, mundo’y inuulan ng dilaw
Kakaibang saya taglay nito na pati ang pangit ay gumaganda
Mga puno’t sanga ay napapasayaw

May mga pagkakataong na damdamin ay mabigat
Di mapigilan na ika’y mapalumbaba
Madilim ang nakikita sapagkat ilaw ay wala
Tanging bughaw at luntian na tila anino ang nakikita

Bughaw at luntian ay mabigat sa mata
Pakiramdam mo tuloy ay nababagabag
Napupuno ng hinagpis sa tuwing ito’y makikita
Sa panahon na ito ang iyong napapansin

Tulad ng araw ito’y may taglay na kinang
Kulay na sa iyong pangingin ay nakakabighani
Anumang dilim ng bughaw at luntian
Ginto ay tiyak na mas makikita

image

SONA 2014

White paint was slowly dripping from a black canvas.
Streaks of yellow and peach that slowly covered the dark.
More of it and darkness was no longer visible to the eyes of one who believes.

If I would imagine how that artwork would have ended up, I’d see a picture with no contrast.  Light colors embraced the whole canvas leaving us to figure out how the elements in the artwork were sorted out. That was exactly how I felt during President Benigno Aquino III’s 2014 State of The Nation Address. There were many dark shades missing, though I must admit  the yellow and peach were surprisingly believable. Frankly, I was never a fan and will never be a fan of Mr. President so I guess I’m more of the opposing team, who’d give forced applause rather than genuine smiles. If I were to base my answer only on what the president said, I may have thought it was agreeable but I am also a Filipino Citizen. Its very hard to deny something when it is already right in front of you, waiting to be noticed.

I may not have liked the SONA as a whole, but I have to agree that many Filipinos have already crossed the lines of poverty. Among all topics discussed, what really got my attention was about TESDA. I can say that this is one of the biggest accomplishments of the president. Based on personal experiences, I know quite a few people who are currently under TESDA Training. Yes, it is true, surprisingly. I think that through TESDA, we are given second chances to move forward in life specially to Filipinos who has less that what we may have. Given the opportunities, we are able to help our country by investing in the economic growth of the Philippines.

I must say, the president did quite a good job expressing his love for the Philippines. With that, he was also able to convince me about the current state of the Philippines. Being quite emotional could sometimes persuade a person to believe in what you say which made his speech compelling enough. For me, the 2014 SONA was better than before. Considering that there have been a lot of changes around us that we may or may have not noticed. Among his entire speech, what kept me wondering was why did he have nothing much to say about our agriculture which was supposed to be one of the biggest industries in the country. Aside from that, I think that even though I’m not quite a supporter, I must say, a job well done to the president. Comparing my thoughts with the people around me, among all the things I said, we only had one thing in common, which was about the job opportunities. The main thing that we really didn’t have the same answer was about the current status of the Philippines based on the 2014 SONA. The 2014 SONA, for them was agreeable. The reason behind that is maybe because I am only a student and have yet to explore the real world while the people around me already knows how things in the real world works. They know how it has changed over the years and the fully understand how it may still be changed.

Footnote to Us

Jose Garcia Villa’s Footnote to Youth tells us about the life of a seventeen year old boy named Dodong. Dodong at a young age married, believing that he was man enough to enter adulthood. He was full of conviction, no doubts, not even a single ‘what if’ entered his mind whenever he thought about marrying the girl he always dreamt of. With his parents’ consent, Dodong and Teang married each other. Unlike Dodong, his father had second thoughts as a strange helpless light in his eyes was visible according to Jose Garcia Villa. Why is it that he didn’t make any objections in Dodong’s sudden declamation about marriage? As for Dodong and Teang, their sweet young dream got even sweeter as their first child, Blas arrived. Dodong, being a first time father, no wonder felt afraid but eventually, he got through it. As Blas grew older, Dodong and Teang had more children as well. It may sound cliché but history repeats itself, Blas came up to his father asking his approval to marry Tona. Though he had objections, Dodong agreed.

The first time I read Footnote to Youth, I honestly thought it was just about youth getting married at a young age and finding themselves full of repentance. But I guess there is more than what you think there is. Behind the not so ‘shallow idea’ of marriage at a young age, I think that what Jose Garcia Villa’s footnote to us is to be brave enough to accept our mistakes and make a change. Dodong and his father accepted their mistakes but failed to correct it. Many of us are full of conviction specially when we believe in something but when life gets a little harder, we give up. It’s not that I approve on marrying at a young age but maybe since it’s reality I have to agree to the idea of Jose Garcia Villa. Sometimes we are too brave that we forget to think about the possible consequences we might face and when it comes, it will shock us to the point that you would just want to surrender. For me, he wants us to start strong and finish stronger.

My Little Infinity

I’ve been really ecstatic about writing a TFIOS FanFic so basically what you’re about to read is my interpretation of what had happened to Hazel after Gus’ death. Play this song while reading, it’ll make you more emotional, like what it did to me. —> Tee Shirt – Birdy (It’s part of the TFIOS Soundtrack, by the way.)  Hahaha :)

——

The cold breeze touched Hazel’s skin. It almost felt like there were butterflies fluttering their wings making her shiver as she made her way to Support Group, at least the one near their new house. Hazel’s medium-lengthed dark hair with streaks of brown and white was tied up in a bun, a few strands falling on the side of her face as the wind blew harder. Her cheeks were as red as a tomato, soft as a marshmallow. She was radiant, similar to the sun on a warm day which she wish was the weather. But she never saw herself that way. Hazel always thought she just looked okay. She sat behind everyone else, always trying to hide herself from the spotlight. She hated attention, but today wasn’t her lucky day. She stood up and walked to the front as their support group leader wished to hear a short introduction from the newbie, she felt her heart thumping. The tip-tapping sound of her new support group leader’s shoe was making her feel uncomfortable. it made her even more nervous. “Hi-i.. Mm-my name i-is Hazel Grace Lancaster, I was dd-di-agnosed with ss-tage 4 Thyroid Cancer.” Hazel said, stuttering. She couldn’t help but remember him. “I only started living after he died.” That’s what she thought after Augustus passed away. Hazel had to live in a life where there was no Augustus Waters annoying her. She missed it, she missed him. “I am happy, healthy, hearty, lovely, and laughing loudly, I…. am…..great!” Support group was finally finished and she no longer had to sing that song which she thought was even worse than what Patrick did before. She let out a deep sigh as she brushed that thought away and immediately remembering the only difference Mr. Green, her new support group leader and patrick had. Mr. Green, was a good joker, he said “People who joked about cancer had no sense of tumor.” She laughed her lungs out, only in her mind, trying not to capture too much attention. Her knees weakened as she stepped outside, she wanted to die right away remembering that she left her gloves at home. “Oh right! The cold never bothered me anyway!” She said sarcastically to herself. She started walking, the cold wind making her hands feel numb. It made her wish Augustus was their to keep her warm just like how he always did before. She shrugged her shoulders and kept walking, wondering if Augustus was watching over her.

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Reality’s Realization With The Help of Thinking

“Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”
― Dorothy AllisonBastard Out of Carolina

Why is it that our country seems like a failed experiment? Elements combined together with fantasies that are to good to be true. Too good that we Filipinos couldn’t keep up to it which resulted to an even worse result, failure all covered up with our little fantasies. As a Filipino, yes, I have a dream for my country more than success and prosperity, I always hoped that one day, we no longer have to believe in these stories that our government would tell us but we could see things the way it is without any lies and fantasies attached to it. The perfect example that could further explain how fantasies could blind you from the truth is the never-ending government corruption and how we Filipino Citizens are partially to blame.

For the past few months, we may have been seeing the same things over and over again in news headlines, newspapers and it may even be your class topic. The issue on the Pork Barrel Scam took the government a huge amount of time before they had finally convicted the main suspects. Not to my surprise, who else could it be? Our own government officials who sworn to God and to us to serve the country with honesty and promised a better future. How could it have happened that our own trusted officials where behind this corruption and how were they able to keep it a secret? One thing’s for sure, they fed us with their promising fantasies, fairy tales wherein they were our prince charming who saved us, the damsel in distress when the truth is they were the greedy and beastly creatures who wanted everything for themselves not even thinking about how many FIlipinos have no houses,no proper education and worst of all no way to start a better life.

How is it possible that we all believed in this illusion caused by their fantasies? Why did we let them build our country with lies when we had the chance to stop it? Like what Nathan Allen said in his article Filipinos: Think! Think! Think!,  “due to colonization and other factors, the Philippines may have established itself as a country full of “small minds”- and by that I mean people that were intentionally discouraged from being ambitious, and kept from their potential.” We all grew up in a fairy tale that the authorities made up that’s why we don’t know how to speak our minds and differentiate reality and fantasy and because our fantasy is what we ever wished for, we chose to live in it.

What I picked up from Nathan Allen’s FIlipinos: Think! Think! Think! that could probably be the reason why we are what are not is that we don’t give importance to who we are or what we stand for. Like our officials, sometimes we are greedy about our ideas we don’t let other people learn about them, we keep things to ourselves. Yes, we might be thinking but we don’t put them in action. The worst part is that instead of making something of our own, we our contented of copying not minding that we would look like people who have no ideas so we just pretend like its ours and even brag about how good we are at it.

Though I am ashamed of how a foreigner made me realize these things about my own country, I am quite grateful to these people who pushes us to our limits even thought they are not of our kind.